Machete
Posted by Tyler Kirk on Saturday, September 4, 2010
Danny Trejo is...Machete!
People who don't know that "Machete" is based off of a fake trailer that started the movie "Planet Terror" will most likely miss out on the great one-liners and gags in this movie.The movie is funny, but no way in Hell is this movie intended to be a comedy."Machete" is 105 minutes of non-stop bloodshed and extreme violence.Characters are decapitated, dismembered, and disembowled and so on.There's a scene where Machete rips out a guys intestines and uses it as a rope to jump out of a window and crash through the window below it.If you don't find that creative, you have serious issues.This movie is definetly not for those with weak stomachs and Mexicans who get offended easily will probably want the director's head on a stick.Mexicans in this movie are called everything from 'illegal' to 'bean eaters', so Mexicans, you were warned.
Machete is a Mexican ex-federale who is payed by a man he doesn't know 150 thousand dollars to assasinate the senator.That's a lot of pesos! Right when he has a clean shot of the illegal immigrant hating Senator, he notices that another man has a gun and he shoots Machete, thus leading to him realizing this man worked for the guy who payed him.The man with the gun shoots the Senator in the leg and the man who payed Machete made it look like he tried to assasinate him.Now he's all over the news and he must find this man and, well, you know the rest.
Machete is definetly not the kinda guy you should screw around with.Stay out of his way and you'll be lucky if your head isn't cut off or your intestines aren't used as a rope.The movie was directed with great style by Robert Rodriguez, who made the family-friendly "Spy Kids" and the over-the-top gorefest "Planet Terror".Even I don' think I would rely on this director to make a tame movie for kids.I honestly think he's best at making movies that are intended for a mature audience, and "Machete" is a perfect example.It's bloody.It's racist.It has lots of nudity.It's over the top.It's a lot of fun.Oh, let's not forget the actors.Michelle Rodriguez is mesmerizing and sexy.Jessica Alba is bad-ass and sexy.Lindsey Lohan is tough and sexy.Danny Trejo deserves an award for his blood-fueled performance as Machete.Long story short: This is one of the year's best films.
Grade: A-
People who don't know that "Machete" is based off of a fake trailer that started the movie "Planet Terror" will most likely miss out on the great one-liners and gags in this movie.The movie is funny, but no way in Hell is this movie intended to be a comedy."Machete" is 105 minutes of non-stop bloodshed and extreme violence.Characters are decapitated, dismembered, and disembowled and so on.There's a scene where Machete rips out a guys intestines and uses it as a rope to jump out of a window and crash through the window below it.If you don't find that creative, you have serious issues.This movie is definetly not for those with weak stomachs and Mexicans who get offended easily will probably want the director's head on a stick.Mexicans in this movie are called everything from 'illegal' to 'bean eaters', so Mexicans, you were warned.
Machete is a Mexican ex-federale who is payed by a man he doesn't know 150 thousand dollars to assasinate the senator.That's a lot of pesos! Right when he has a clean shot of the illegal immigrant hating Senator, he notices that another man has a gun and he shoots Machete, thus leading to him realizing this man worked for the guy who payed him.The man with the gun shoots the Senator in the leg and the man who payed Machete made it look like he tried to assasinate him.Now he's all over the news and he must find this man and, well, you know the rest.
Machete is definetly not the kinda guy you should screw around with.Stay out of his way and you'll be lucky if your head isn't cut off or your intestines aren't used as a rope.The movie was directed with great style by Robert Rodriguez, who made the family-friendly "Spy Kids" and the over-the-top gorefest "Planet Terror".Even I don' think I would rely on this director to make a tame movie for kids.I honestly think he's best at making movies that are intended for a mature audience, and "Machete" is a perfect example.It's bloody.It's racist.It has lots of nudity.It's over the top.It's a lot of fun.Oh, let's not forget the actors.Michelle Rodriguez is mesmerizing and sexy.Jessica Alba is bad-ass and sexy.Lindsey Lohan is tough and sexy.Danny Trejo deserves an award for his blood-fueled performance as Machete.Long story short: This is one of the year's best films.
Grade: A-
